Adeus ao passado; adeus a ti.

Como cresceste tu, do que eras ao que agora és?
Como foi que a creança que hontem corria comigo
pelo relvado verde de verão, e se deitava
de baixo das àrvores,
olhando as nuvens e vendo figuras
puras do céo estrelado.

Agora creasceste em algo que não reconheço, já.
O teu corpo pouco mudou mas a tua mente…
Está differente. Alguns chamar-lhe-iam mais madura,
eu simplesmente digo differente.
Trabalhas, pensas em ti e n’alguns outros…
Vives uma vida tua, decides o que decides
e Vives.

Não sei como. Não sei se fui eu que
parei ou tú que andaste de mais para o meu passo.
Passaste ao meu lado e continuaste,
olhando, de vez em quando, confirmando onde
estava e seguindo em frente.
Não sei que mais pensar, sentir.
Não creio mais que o que passou torne.
‘Temos que nos adaptar’, right?

Maxwell Black
November 06, 2009
03.59pm

Alone once more I travel through an endless Universe--

Why must a travel be made by the self?

No one to share it with, no thoughts that are not yours;
A soul mate that is no really a completion of me,
not me.

The show must go on,
as a train that only stops for a few seconds
only to leave afterwards,
with nothing but memories as passengers
and no real anything.

Hope that lives still where there should be none
of finding the One who will sit close to me
and fly in my magic carpet, to know the place where
the clouds are orange and, when you look up
to see the beautiful sky that is the rings and the planets;
Hope of finding my one blue rose,
My Orion on earth, the red Satine of my writing.

My missing wings of guard
that burned while tumbling down
to this burning earth of cold and nakedness.
A single drop of salt water from a burning green eye
of inner grey and a tree of Winter soul.

A tango of jealousy,
a love that does not belong to me and yet
one I earn. A jumping curiosity and a heart
so desperate to love that can’t help but to be disappointed
at the human reality.

And yet, as soon as denial can manifest,
love is already destined to someone not from myself
but only a cover for this endless sadness that’s has fallen
over me, the medley of my mind and heart
an honest tear of something that neither I nor anyone else
can define as either happy or sad.

Alone once more I travel through an endless Universe
and see the stars and the sky by myself.
Now and forever.

Maxwell Black
October 25/26, 2009
00.00am

Because today was a Good Day.

Because today was the best day in ages;
because today I felt good, for a change,
I can actually say I got stuff done.
Because today I was me with no pretense or politeness;
Because I was to myself for a full day,
and I had a smile in my face all afternoon.
Today I dressed well, walked my streets,
rode the subway and the bus,
meet four new neighborhoods and seen new people.
I’ve mocked and been mocked, I laugh with my soul,
I rode the bridge with a frightened someone
and seen the 8th hill of Lisbon ( XDD).
Because today I meet you and me.
Today I passed four times in Cidade Universitaria
went to Lisbon north and re-met the place where he lived.
Because today was a Good Day.

Maxwell Black
October 23, 2009
01.53am

Perdida ela em teu rosto.

A ultima prenda que deste foi uma melodia
tocada por outrem mas que me encheu a vida e a alma.
Hoje e, por uma só noite choro.
A partida de ti, do que passado foi
e de uma unívoca amizade mais forte
que qualquer palavra ou sentimento ou pensamento.

Hoje, digo-te adeus.
Deixo-te apenas partir como é de mim;
deixo-te navegar ao sentido que te guia
não mais em meu rumo.
Deixar-te-ei livre dos meus lamentos de vagueador
e da pedra que te sou: que sou.

Respira a liberdade trazida à brisa
do que te fez crescer sem quereres.
Sente agora a vida que te faltava, o sentimento que
tanto adoraste em creança e que agora te finalmente chega.
Não deixes de olhar nunca em frente,
no que há-de; em quém hás-de.

Agora ,e, por uma única vez te digo e levanto
o peso do passado de que te livraste faz muito.
As palavras que nunca ouvirás de mim,
os pensamentos que eu nunca terei para ti, enquanto Ser.
A racionalização tão inocente de encarar a realidade e fazer o que deve ser feito.

Não. Não correrei.
Porque não precisas. Nunca correrei eu.
Porque não preciso.
Voarei apenas em mim próprio com o sentimento a que me dou
porque, aqui, de nada vale.
Para cá, onde o azul torna a castanho de lodo;
e a ponte, ao longe, jamais responderá aos chamos dos innocentes,
Deixo-te, navegante das ondas do tempo,
na bahia dos lobos, para que não mais olharei.

Agora, de volta eu n’um não ser que sobrevivo,
Pego no meu desagrado e torno-o em obrigação;
Algo que não te inclui.
Perdoa-me por te desacreditar e te querer tão como nunca.

Maxwell Black
October 18, 2009
03.33am

Just loneliness

Anger is still

in a heart that will always live in civilisation.
I don’t want to get used to it
I don’t want to feel like an Earthily body,
empty of meaning and feeling.
Empty of what no longer is living.

I look outside my window and
no longer do I see the neon of the night.
No motors waiting for the green and the pedestrian
to feel a need to go forwards.
Empty streets now fill my heart
with such abandonment and feeling;
Sirens of an overwhelming silence.

Betrayed by myself,
by my past of indulgence with who,
in the end, didn’t deserve it.
Because, if it weren’t for your… There would be something else…
But water no longer runs back,
No point in dwelling with past lives
that lead me nowhere.
Resentment? No, just loneliness.

Maxwell Black
October 15, 2009
08.39am

A trip to Infinity – Sunrise

It starts.
A new day born on the horizon
Shades from cold to warm,
a ray through the spectrum
that red is not to be yet.

Look low past it changes.
Ephemerid of seconds, each a new
reality.

Not yet out and too much for me already.
You make me tired.
Make me realize how much I hate you.

Shine yet nothing beautiful to show,
only to blind the beauty of the sky.
The beauty of nature.
You should not be.

Maxwell Black
September 22, 2009
07.11am

A trip to Infinity – Among the Blind

Senseless tiredness
of nothingness,
trail of white metal hearing
in a rail line to nothingness.

Blind livelihood
and innocent fun from the non-living.
The no-knowers of civilisation,
the ones who make no stand
who do not live in rational.

Poor sadness for them
yet content for their own happiness.

Regrets of only being mistaken.
Only your fault.
Because I wanted to do good for me,
for us.
I wanted to help you grow into something,
a Beauty that there isn’t in you.
Yet, you force me out of you.
Force me to nothing in you,
let alone out.

An infinity at six
of a repetitive thinking.
Because only what you ‘re being to me
is at.
Loose words…

Maxwell Black
September 22, 2009
07.00am

A trip to Infinity – Village of emptiness

Village of emptiness.
Souls that travel for no purpose
then the mundane.
Simplicity that feels nothing,
only empty.

Breaking both worlds to live as hybrid.
not civilised nor else,
a mere wounded animal
to live on the fringes of the city.

Not a thought of it,
No looking at time through a straw
of white panel filled with the stripe of red.
Because it is young still
a life of ephemerid.

Only a brick on majestic
construction close to the river banks
not knowing life as natural,
as essential as breath.

Maxwell Black
September 22, 2009
06.45am

A trip to Infinity - An ever ending trip

I look at you:
no more then this white numbness.
The impossibility to do something else;
just accepting what is.

Freedom for not choosing what
should be rightfully mine.
An eternity for a Lone Traveller
that now faces Its fear for
not being; more then It had ever thought.

Naked feet on this floor of raw stone
that stands between success and I,
a time where I feel no hope for not
the rise of the stars and moons;
such glorified ray of rage and energy,
iternal in its shortness yet mortal
in existense.

Today. I look at what might
in the hope of the forgetful to remember
a single existense; a possibility.

Not at shortage of thought
in the ever ending trip.
Rationality of hope.

Maxwell Black
September 22, 2009
06.25am

No dream has ever looked so furder then before.

Back.
Back to a world that is no longer mine.
Where I once called my own,
now a simple space with strangers.

And yet, the longing for Civilization
for a place I yearned since child
and could not meet yet.

A lost soul behind the flickering light
in the first drop of September's rain.

And here, when the inner persona fights
for a place where Man is its own
it seems as if faith is pulling the opposite way,
pulling towards the palace of head and desert
where no living of the self is possible.

Here I dream, of being just a sound of the
falling rain on the concrete sidewalk;
and of the storm sky that flourishes
its beautiful tones of grey light of a sole
keystroke on the black and white box of peace.

Where should it drop from the wings of pure
to the woods at the base of mountain
where the pure of the white is just falling
where no-one is to confirm the reality of Nature.

No dream has ever looked so furder then before.

No soundtrack of weird calm yet sad melody
of silent and colourful music.
Just another sunset and another water
from the greenery of The Blue Mind:
blessed tear of relieve for a dream that cannot be.

A sadness of flying when it's shown how to,
an untaken breath longing for its time
that will never be.

A look behind the shoulder and, then
a face that looks down and turns,
never to be.

Maxwell R. Black
03.16am
September 13, 2009

The prelude to the dawn of life.

'Estamos de partida. Mochila às costas, bilhetes na mão e comboio à espera. Uma aventura nos espera. 7 mentes impregnadas de tanto entusiasmo, prontos para viver 7 dias de grandes emoções acampados nas terras de Viseu. (...) Tendo em conta a quantidade de malas e malinhas, mochilas e sacos que levamos, dá a ideia de que vamos para França. Whatever. Who cares? Levamos na bagagem espirito de sobrevivência e muita sede de aventura. (...)  Um beijinho.'

Por Vera Branco, em Setinha @ Home

Ás quase mãos do relógio de Sol descanso não passa em olhos
que de oliva nasce quando aí se embate a estrela da Noite.
Se, por um lado nada de dentro se deposita em saco
por outro algo de estranho se de mim apodera.

À crescida da rosa para terra de onde nada mais que
o extracto da àgua adveio aos passados tempos
e que, ao despois de tal queda national se isolou em
recantos, por detrás do poente alto.

Não recobro da alma e do pensamento que
a espera deteve; a fugaz tentativa de fugidão
do que em pedra escrito me atormenta na mente do presente.

Porém, resta nada que a esperânsa e sentido
falham.
Pelo que o recêntio do que passou permanece, ainda ao consciênte
e o sentido da perdição esmagado contra a maré
em mim descansa.

Apenas uma despedida de quem de novo se muda.
The prelude to the dawn of life.

Maxwell Black
Sep 4, 2009
04.54am

No longer will I wait.

No longer will I wait
for the sweet words of you
that used to touch my ear with such simplicity
that mesmerises still my indulgent mind.

‘… and then I kissed him’
to a goodbye that I’ve yearned
yet made so much effort to delay.
A return never to be,
never to happen again.
A face that will still be pain in me
when our eyes meet once more.

A light breeze that turns my inside
as cold as the sky, as it once were.
And later, when no winter leaves
fall on the summer white grass,
The blue sky above us and the bridge will still be.

The place where memories first met
and where no more then words spoken.
A promise from an empty personality
of a yearning soul to a Brazilian lover
that travelled from the old to the new arch of
where kings were born.

Sounds of chocolate and sweets
will no longer make sense.
A Candy never to be for this Man;
and useless and obvious words of a smiling mind
to the uncooperative body.

Smiling at my own reluctance to accept reality.  :-)

Maxwell R. Black
Aug 31, 2009
01.49am

A Waste of a Life.

A piece never to be set again,

                        A life never to be lived.

     A pre-mature death of a mind that just wanted

                                     to be free.

               No hope for the suffering mind

       forces itself not to change.

           Not alive nor dead, not fighting to live either.

                Just another wasted life.