Alone once more I travel through an endless Universe--

Why must a travel be made by the self?

No one to share it with, no thoughts that are not yours;
A soul mate that is no really a completion of me,
not me.

The show must go on,
as a train that only stops for a few seconds
only to leave afterwards,
with nothing but memories as passengers
and no real anything.

Hope that lives still where there should be none
of finding the One who will sit close to me
and fly in my magic carpet, to know the place where
the clouds are orange and, when you look up
to see the beautiful sky that is the rings and the planets;
Hope of finding my one blue rose,
My Orion on earth, the red Satine of my writing.

My missing wings of guard
that burned while tumbling down
to this burning earth of cold and nakedness.
A single drop of salt water from a burning green eye
of inner grey and a tree of Winter soul.

A tango of jealousy,
a love that does not belong to me and yet
one I earn. A jumping curiosity and a heart
so desperate to love that can’t help but to be disappointed
at the human reality.

And yet, as soon as denial can manifest,
love is already destined to someone not from myself
but only a cover for this endless sadness that’s has fallen
over me, the medley of my mind and heart
an honest tear of something that neither I nor anyone else
can define as either happy or sad.

Alone once more I travel through an endless Universe
and see the stars and the sky by myself.
Now and forever.

Maxwell Black
October 25/26, 2009
00.00am

Because today was a Good Day.

Because today was the best day in ages;
because today I felt good, for a change,
I can actually say I got stuff done.
Because today I was me with no pretense or politeness;
Because I was to myself for a full day,
and I had a smile in my face all afternoon.
Today I dressed well, walked my streets,
rode the subway and the bus,
meet four new neighborhoods and seen new people.
I’ve mocked and been mocked, I laugh with my soul,
I rode the bridge with a frightened someone
and seen the 8th hill of Lisbon ( XDD).
Because today I meet you and me.
Today I passed four times in Cidade Universitaria
went to Lisbon north and re-met the place where he lived.
Because today was a Good Day.

Maxwell Black
October 23, 2009
01.53am

Perdida ela em teu rosto.

A ultima prenda que deste foi uma melodia
tocada por outrem mas que me encheu a vida e a alma.
Hoje e, por uma só noite choro.
A partida de ti, do que passado foi
e de uma unívoca amizade mais forte
que qualquer palavra ou sentimento ou pensamento.

Hoje, digo-te adeus.
Deixo-te apenas partir como é de mim;
deixo-te navegar ao sentido que te guia
não mais em meu rumo.
Deixar-te-ei livre dos meus lamentos de vagueador
e da pedra que te sou: que sou.

Respira a liberdade trazida à brisa
do que te fez crescer sem quereres.
Sente agora a vida que te faltava, o sentimento que
tanto adoraste em creança e que agora te finalmente chega.
Não deixes de olhar nunca em frente,
no que há-de; em quém hás-de.

Agora ,e, por uma única vez te digo e levanto
o peso do passado de que te livraste faz muito.
As palavras que nunca ouvirás de mim,
os pensamentos que eu nunca terei para ti, enquanto Ser.
A racionalização tão inocente de encarar a realidade e fazer o que deve ser feito.

Não. Não correrei.
Porque não precisas. Nunca correrei eu.
Porque não preciso.
Voarei apenas em mim próprio com o sentimento a que me dou
porque, aqui, de nada vale.
Para cá, onde o azul torna a castanho de lodo;
e a ponte, ao longe, jamais responderá aos chamos dos innocentes,
Deixo-te, navegante das ondas do tempo,
na bahia dos lobos, para que não mais olharei.

Agora, de volta eu n’um não ser que sobrevivo,
Pego no meu desagrado e torno-o em obrigação;
Algo que não te inclui.
Perdoa-me por te desacreditar e te querer tão como nunca.

Maxwell Black
October 18, 2009
03.33am

Just loneliness

Anger is still

in a heart that will always live in civilisation.
I don’t want to get used to it
I don’t want to feel like an Earthily body,
empty of meaning and feeling.
Empty of what no longer is living.

I look outside my window and
no longer do I see the neon of the night.
No motors waiting for the green and the pedestrian
to feel a need to go forwards.
Empty streets now fill my heart
with such abandonment and feeling;
Sirens of an overwhelming silence.

Betrayed by myself,
by my past of indulgence with who,
in the end, didn’t deserve it.
Because, if it weren’t for your… There would be something else…
But water no longer runs back,
No point in dwelling with past lives
that lead me nowhere.
Resentment? No, just loneliness.

Maxwell Black
October 15, 2009
08.39am

A trip to Infinity – Sunrise

It starts.
A new day born on the horizon
Shades from cold to warm,
a ray through the spectrum
that red is not to be yet.

Look low past it changes.
Ephemerid of seconds, each a new
reality.

Not yet out and too much for me already.
You make me tired.
Make me realize how much I hate you.

Shine yet nothing beautiful to show,
only to blind the beauty of the sky.
The beauty of nature.
You should not be.

Maxwell Black
September 22, 2009
07.11am

A trip to Infinity – Among the Blind

Senseless tiredness
of nothingness,
trail of white metal hearing
in a rail line to nothingness.

Blind livelihood
and innocent fun from the non-living.
The no-knowers of civilisation,
the ones who make no stand
who do not live in rational.

Poor sadness for them
yet content for their own happiness.

Regrets of only being mistaken.
Only your fault.
Because I wanted to do good for me,
for us.
I wanted to help you grow into something,
a Beauty that there isn’t in you.
Yet, you force me out of you.
Force me to nothing in you,
let alone out.

An infinity at six
of a repetitive thinking.
Because only what you ‘re being to me
is at.
Loose words…

Maxwell Black
September 22, 2009
07.00am